The Funeral of Shelley by Louis Édouard Fournier. Walker Art Gallery Liverpool

I read recently in The Times (12 January, Rhys Blakely) about a study into the language used in obituaries.

A team of academics, led by David Marcowitz of Michigan State University, has analysed 38 million US memorials that appeared between 1998 and 2024 on the Legacy. com platform.

As Markowitz observes, death notices illuminate what we hold dear:

‘Obituaries serve as a unique source of information about how societies value different kinds of lives. They reveal broader patterns of remembrance by showing who is remembered, for what contributions, and how cultural values are expressed through these acts of memory.’

The research, published in the journal The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, found that the most prevalent personal value in obituaries was tradition (religious participation and enduring customs etc) which was represented in about 80% of cases. Next came benevolence (caring for the welfare of others) with 76%. Words relating to ‘achievement’ and ‘power’ featured far less often – in less than 25% of cases.

We may note that, in the final reckoning, kindness consistently trumps success.

This may give us pause for thought in the world of work, when we reach those forks in the road that require us to make difficult decisions.

There is a business tradition that encourages toughness, aggression and hostility: commerce is competitive; it’s dog-eat-dog out there; the end justifies the means.

‘You’ve got to look after number 1 to survive.’

Sobering to reflect that, in the long run, in the court of community opinion, we will be judged by our consideration for others.

Concepts like courtesy and concern, tenderness and tolerance have not conventionally been regarded as essential to business performance. They are too soft. But perhaps these qualities are critical. Perhaps they represent the basis for an enduring legacy.

'Let me know,
Have you started to lose your love for me?
And if so,
Will you still continue to be on my side?
Tell me if you still care about me.
Tell me if you still care about me.
I was so insecure with you,
Did you still want me?
So I let go of the feeling that you
Were still all mine.
Tell me if you still care about me.
(Show me that you care)
Tell me if you still care about me.’
The SOS Band, 'Tell Me If You Still Care’ ( J Harris III, T Lewis)

No. 553